First of all, I started writing this confessional literally two hours ago, and when I went and posted it, the board wasn't available so I lost my REALLY good confessional.
*insert furious emoji*
*FURIOUS EMOJI*
*FURIOUS EMOJI*
(interestingly, my original confessional actually had "*FURIOUS EMOJI*" typed out in it several times. I'll try to replicate what I wrote because honestly it was very informative and I really liked what I wrote and I'm so mad I lost it). *deep breath* Here we go:
_________
Updaaaaaaaaaaaaaate
No video I'll just type this out.
So I get a message out of nowhere from Helena and she asks how I feel about voting Ruben out. *red flag alert* I'm pretty straight up and I'm just like "over Alex? I'm not really warm to the idea". Conveniently....she's talking to Alex. -_- Oh shit.
*insert furious emoji*
*FURIOUS EMOJI*
She basically reveals to me that she doesn't want to vote out Alex. I'm like fuuuuuuuck. But I kinda know why because I know Helena likes Alex. And yeah, she basically says she likes Alex and would rather not be a part of the majority to vote out Alex. So I'm like, girl do you not realize he is trying to manipulate the fuck out of you? But I like Helena so I need to not get mad at her, plus I’ll always tell her the truth because that’s always the best way to go. (Conversation transcripts under spoiler tags)
[1:16:21 AM] Helena: How do you feel about voting ruben?
[1:16:44 AM] Phil Varela: really? over alex?
[1:17:16 AM] Phil Varela: i'll admit my initial reaction is... not really that warm to the idea.
[1:17:49 AM] Phil Varela: why do you bring it up
[1:19:11 AM] Helena: I figured. I just like alex n don't want to see him go. Even though he was a sneak. But I figure by now it's inevitable.. I was just talkin to Alex and he asked who I'm thinking of voting
[1:20:29 AM] Phil Varela: my thing is just with alex i'm really annoyed at how his approach was to his plan and how he excluded us and how he removed me from tribal council. i like alex as a person but he was incredibly shady to me and to you and to all of us and he lied too many times.
[1:21:17 AM] Phil Varela: plus he is relentless and pretty ruthless as he has just shown
[1:22:22 AM] Helena: Well I c [mpletely understand. If you guys don't need me for majority that would be nice because I don't want to vote him
[1:22:50 AM] Phil Varela: yeah i understand that
[1:22:57 AM] Helena: I just dont know what to do im lost and sad that the group has to shrink
At this point I know Helena is playing emotionally and tbh I completely understand that because it happens at this point. But also on the same token I need to explain to her the reasons why I want Alex to go. And I make sure to include all the instances where not only has Alex lied to me, but he also lied to her. The fact that Alex is already trying to secure Helena’s vote (and has apparently already secured it), continues to show me how relentless this kid is to stay in this game. Kudos to him but no dude you have got to go. So my strategy with this conversation is to be completely open and honest with Helena about my feelings because I know she will accept it, even if her opinions differ. Even though I’m really worried that she’s talking with Alex at the same time, I just wanna explain my position.
[1:23:45 AM] Phil Varela: lol well that's the nature of the game. but ok i guess here's my question. did alex even give any indication to you what his plan was for this or other TCs. like honestly i wish he would have told us
[1:25:35 AM] Helena: No he never has. he may claim he's playing his own game but I think he is now because his alliance slowly got voted off
[1:28:57 AM] Phil Varela: lol well his "new" alliance is getting voted off
[1:29:57 AM] Helena: I dont want any of you to think im turning on you guys
[1:30:20 AM] Phil Varela: i mean its not that. i get what you're saying.
[1:30:46 AM] Phil Varela: but underneath i just see alex taking advantage of the fact that you wouldnt wanna vote him. you know what i mean?
[1:30:56 AM] Phil Varela: and honestly its fine if you dont wanna vote him
[1:31:12 AM] Phil Varela: i just... would still want him to go because he clearly does not trust me
[1:31:30 AM] Phil Varela: and i thought he did
[1:31:51 AM] Helena: You're right but so far he only knows of one person that isn't voting him and thats me.. im sure he knows and im pretty sure he said in the chat that he knows he's going down
In my head, I’m like, no girl he has two votes (he has Andi). And by securing him your vote, you just secured the fact that he only needs one more vote to tie this vote up, and two more votes to secure a majority. At this point, Alex messages me saying that he wants to talk to me and explain last night. I’m really worried that he’s gonna start gaining traction and that after he gets Helena, he’ll try to get Mandy. BECAUSE HIS TARGET IS STILL RUBEN AND RUBEN IS THE ONE WHO STARTED THE RUMOR THAT MANDY IS BEING TARGETTED IN ORDER TO FLUSH HER IDOL. Like that charade was too much. Too much I knew it I knew it I knew it. It was too much and now it might bite us in the ass if Mandy gets wind that Ruben was trying to flush her idol. I just talked to Andii and Andii knows that Ruben tried to flush Mandy’s idol. SO… FUCK. We need to make sure Mandy is on our side. Anyway, so at this point in my conversation with Helena, I’m like ok I need to just run down the list of all the times Alex has been shady. Maybe I can convince Helena that Banks needs to go.
Helena: So he blocked your vote because he thought you voted for him?
[1:32:35 AM] Phil Varela: lol no thats such a lie
[1:32:47 AM] Phil Varela: if he thought i voted for him he would have thought we all voted for him and he would have used the thing on himself
[1:33:05 AM] Phil Varela: he used it because he thought he thought by getting rid of my vote he'd have majority and get ruben out and keep his alliance
[1:33:12 AM] Phil Varela: and now that his alliance member is gone hes scramblig for a new one
[1:34:01 AM] Phil Varela: he kept asking me if i voted for brandon and i said yes which is true
[1:34:06 AM] Phil Varela: so he knew i wasnt voting for him why would i
[1:35:04 AM] Helena: You're right. Do you know who's voting him? I don't plan on sharing with him swear on my future grave. I just would like to know.
[1:35:17 AM] Helena: Or you don't even have to say who just how many
[1:35:53 AM] Phil Varela: i mean it hasnt been discussed in detail but after it was revealed that he was playing all of us it was just like, ok he needs to go . and he was THERE in the chat when it was said. it was legit right after TC so everyone was there. except if you wernet at TC
[1:36:38 AM] Phil Varela: i mean it was kind of awkward because we were asking him so many questions and he couldnt really answer it
[1:36:42 AM] Phil Varela: he was just like im sorry i made friends
[1:36:49 AM] Phil Varela: and its like... wait what so are we not your friends?
[1:38:39 AM] Helena: I got kicked off the call because I didn't have it muted sadly.. I wish I would've been there. So im assuming mandy dj mac phil ruben and you voting him?
[1:38:55 AM] Helena: Im p sure andi was on the alliance
[1:39:33 AM] Phil Varela: yeah that sounds about right.
[1:39:42 AM] Phil Varela: and yeah andi was definitely in his alliance
[1:40:10 AM] Phil Varela: i knew they were also trying to get our votes as well. well mostlyb anks. andii and brandon didnt really try
[1:40:59 AM] Phil Varela: also i wasnt actually present for the vote reveal so i think i got to the aftermath late cuz i had to be re-added later
[1:41:01 AM] Phil Varela: so i dont know what was said right away
[1:45:13 AM] Helena: Lol I went pee n got back.. they hung up on me and mac said mute your mic we hear a man in the background. Just missed it.
[1:45:54 AM] Phil Varela: HA yes we heard someone in the back
[1:45:57 AM] Phil Varela: i remember that
[1:46:03 AM] Phil Varela: I didn't realize you were kicked.
[1:46:28 AM] Phil Varela: Then Sandy revealed Alex's power and i was kicked
[1:48:00 AM] Helena: No way!? You couldn't be on the call?
[1:48:04 AM] Helena: Bs
[1:48:26 AM] Phil Varela: yeah i was removed from TC because of the power he used
[1:48:30 AM | Edited 1:48:39 AM] Phil Varela: so i couldnt be present and my vote didnt count
[1:49:21 AM] Phil Varela: im not even surprised i guess i thought he would use it on me or you if he didnt want our votes to count
[1:50:14 AM] Helena: Wow I would have at least wanted to be there.. only saw the chat... did he pretend to be on your side? Did he vote for ruben?
[1:50:56 AM] Phil Varela: he told me he was voting for Brandon. and then he voted for brandon and blocked my vote. because mac couldn't vote for brandon. and they thought mandy was voting for ruben.
[1:51:05 AM] Phil Varela: like they thought they had a majority once my vote was blocked
[1:51:07 AM] Phil Varela: to blindside us
[1:51:11 AM] Phil Varela: and get out a rando like ruben
[1:51:15 AM] Phil Varela: and take control of the game
[1:51:18 AM] Phil Varela: thats what makes me mad
[1:52:55 AM] Helena:
Who did mandy vote?
[1:52:58 AM] Phil Varela: brandon
[1:53:06 AM] Helena: Lol OHH SHIT
[1:53:13 AM] Helena: Thats funny
[1:53:13 AM] Phil Varela: if she hadnt then we would all be FUCKED
[1:53:24 AM] Helena: I just dont like ruben
So at this point, I need to reconcile the fact that I wanna vote Alex and she wants to vote Ruben, so I need to make a compromise and pretty much just offer that up to her. I reveal that I don’t really care about Ruben and let her know that I am willing to vote out Ruben next round (which is absolutely true smilesmile)
Phil: lol yeah i get it. he even admits he's an ass
[1:54:26 AM] Helena: Its sad when someone can admit to a fault in them and they still continue to act upon that fault
[1:55:01 AM] Helena: And that's why I don't like him... not because he's an ass but because he admits to being one and then continues to be one
[1:55:18 AM] Phil Varela: lol i always miss those "Ruben is an ass" moments
[1:55:21 AM] Phil Varela: like i miss every fight usually
[1:58:11 AM] Phil Varela: i dont want this to come off the wrong way but like when alex was trying to convince us to vote out ruben, it didnt make a lot of sense to me, tbh, because i havent experienced those moments with ruben, but when he was also trying to get you and mandy to vote out ruben, i thought it was kind of like a sort of emotional manipulation in that he knew you didnt like ruben so that you would vote for him. especially when you werent included in his alliance but he still wanted your vote. i just think that was super sketchy of him. and i think he also tried that with me and like play my emotions a little bit (earlier in the game)
[2:01:59 AM] Helena: Idk if he thought into it that well
Honestly but I see what your saying how it could come off like that.. I think he didn't plan it. But it is anyone's choice to over or under analyze the situation how they please
[2:02:29 AM] Phil Varela: ha exactly. yeah sorry i just..after this i have sort of had to reflect on what alex has told me in the past
[2:02:32 AM] Phil Varela: so my bad i guess
[2:03:14 AM] Helena: Its all how you percieve it.. what he did to you was kind of poopy and I wish he would've done it to me so I would feel more inclined to vote him. But he definitely has been shady
[2:03:41 AM] Helena: Not your bad at all phil.. I love being able to share opinions openly
[2:04:01 AM] Helena: I will probably never think of you any differently
[2:04:09 AM] Helena: For anything you say
[2:04:15 AM] Phil Varela: lol thats good to know
[2:04:30 AM] Helena: And try not to use it against me
[2:04:39 AM] Phil Varela: lol never
[2:06:05 AM] Helena: You mac and dj are the three people I will be very sad to see go. Regardless of if im in the game or not when that happens.
[2:06:32 AM] Phil Varela: its been an interesting night for my thoughts, certainly. my view of alex has definitely changed, that's all. i would never want to pressure you into voting a way you wouldnt want
[2:06:40 AM] Phil Varela: but ultimately i just wanna stick together
[2:07:10 AM] Phil Varela: and this round just kinda shook that for me and alex if you know what i mean
[2:08:19 AM] Helena: Me too. I agree.. I know what you mean.. that was like a public backstabbing. Brutal as hell.. he could've just not talked to u n voted ruben n blocked you vote and that would've been way.less harsh
[2:09:49 AM | Edited 2:16:34 AM] Phil Varela: haha yeah i mean i kneww he wanted to vote ruben but i guess i thought if he was gonna use his power he'd use it on himself hah
[2:11:26 AM] Phil Varela: would you be mad at me if i voted for alex though
[2:11:39 AM] Phil Varela: because what if we vote ruben next
[2:11:46 AM] Phil Varela: because at that point i dont really care
[2:12:30 AM] Helena: Not a good strategy at all. Poor alex. He did it to himself... no he deserves it from you. If he did that to me I would do the same thing... I will never be mad at anyone for doing anything that they think is they right move
[2:13:14 AM] Helena: I agree. Fuck it. Next round I'm voting ruby he's the biggest threat to me
[2:14:27 AM] Phil Varela: i'm with ya. we voted out his girlfriend afterall and i didnt talk to him for like two whole rounds after that
[2:14:51 AM] Phil Varela: i dont want you to thin kthat just because i dont wanna vote ruben out right now that iw ould never want to.
[2:18:22 AM] Helena: No I get it. Priorities are priorities. You just got the wool pulled over your eyes by Alex so of course you're going to get him out.
DING DING DING “fuck it next round I’m voting Ruby”. DOES THIS MEAN SHE’S VOTING BANKS THIS ROUND? Like, I don’t know but for some reason those words are music to my ears. But at this point, she’s actually agreeing with what I’m saying, so I take the opportunity to outline some of the other shit that Alex does that makes him shady, including what he did with the Taylor vote.
Phil: at some point he [Alex] said he wanted to talkt o me
[2:18:52 AM] Phil Varela: but he always says that and he never does LOL
[2:19:50 AM] Helena: Lol Taylor did that with me and I feel bad I never talked to him
[2:20:13 AM] Phil Varela: I actually had a good convo with Taylor but then he never followed up LOL.
[2:20:21 AM] Phil Varela: so instant vote i was like bye
[2:20:28 AM] Helena: I was nervous to one on one with him
[2:20:38 AM] Phil Varela: he caught me while driving and i was curious about what he wanted to say
[2:20:46 AM] Phil Varela: he just basically complained about mac
[2:21:02 AM] Phil Varela: cuz this was around the #macsbitches period after lexi was voted out
[2:21:27 AM] Phil Varela: so i just shot the shit with him but then he wanted to follow up later and im like ok cool hit me back. i was really curious to hear if he had a plan
[2:21:33 AM] Phil Varela: and he never did. and then a day later we had to vote sooooooo
[2:23:03 AM] Helena: Lmao.. I honestly just voted him because he had the lowest score. I didn't kno what to do. I was like oo shit hope no one's claws come out
[2:23:16 AM] Phil Varela: thats part of the reason i voted for him too
[2:23:24 AM] Phil Varela: because i thought it was his strategy to get the penalty for the next challenge
[2:23:31 AM] Phil Varela: in order to be a non threat
[2:23:35 AM] Phil Varela: in order to avoid being targetted
[2:23:39 AM] Phil Varela: so i was like....nnnnnnope bye
[2:24:42 AM] Phil Varela: but lol of course the claws would come out. that was the round that our dear alex couldnt vote for his dear taylor and then tried to blame the dj vote on me (facepalm)
[2:25:50 AM] Helena: Ooo shit no way... he was trying to be on both sides?
[2:26:01 AM] Helena: Or play this side
[2:26:04 AM] Helena: ?
[2:26:23 AM] Phil Varela: were you around after that vote reveal
[2:26:26 AM] Phil Varela: once taylor was voted out
[2:26:31 AM] Phil Varela: cuz EVERYTHING happens after vote reveal LOL
[2:30:54 AM] Helena: I dont think i.was so god damn it I need to be on it next tribal.. I dont want people to think I don't deserve to be here
[2:31:28 AM] Phil Varela: its usually pretty much when shit goes down and i've missed A LOT of them because of my connectivity issues. i cant always participate
[2:31:39 AM] Phil Varela: and the one time i could i was kicked BUT ANYWAYYYYYY lol.
[2:31:52 AM] Phil Varela: yeah basically thats why we were asking you if you voted on call or by messenger
[2:32:19 AM] Phil Varela: because alex was saying that he voted for taylor. he straight up told that to me, and i think to dj and mac. so he said ruben voted for dj, but ruben was able to provide proof right away that he voted taylor
[2:32:42 AM | Edited 2:32:58 AM] Phil Varela: ruben voted in the majority twice without even knowing it LOL (with the lexi vote and the taylor vote). so after ruben provided proof he voted taylor, then banks tried to say it was me who voted dj
[2:33:15 AM] Phil Varela: so thats when i provided proof i voted for taylor. and so mac asked alex to provided proof he voted for taylor and he couldnt
[2:33:16 AM] Helena: Oh shit I do remember
[2:33:20 AM] Phil Varela: and id ont think he has even admitted to this day
[2:33:24 AM] Phil Varela: even though we all know
[2:34:10 AM] Helena: He tried LOL yea he didn't vote Taylor but he realized then that his majority was gone when Taylor was out
[2:34:36 AM] Phil Varela: but honestly i didnt really care that much that he lied about his taylor vote. i know why he lied and i didnt think it was a big deal at the time
[2:35:07 AM] Phil Varela: but yeah i mean the past few votes have been really interesting
[2:35:11 AM] Phil Varela: its been a crazy time
Ok so I’ve basically exhausted my list of all the times that Alex has been super shady and made my case as to why I want to vote Alex or Ruben. I’ve also suggest that we can vote Ruben next, and Helena was actually receptive to it. She didn’t confirm that she’d vote Banks this round, but I’m also honestly not that concerned at this point. I’ve been needing this conversation with Helena for SO long. It was on my to-do list for Episode 8, so I’m finally getting around to it. I love Helena, she is so nice to talk to. Here’s the rest of our conversation for your reading pleasure if you’re so inclined to read these things.
Helena: It getting crazier and ceaziee
[2:36:07 AM] Phil Varela: i dont really know much about previous seasons but i think this is one of the more complicated ones, haha. i know the viewers think its predictable but a lot of crazy shit happens
[2:37:01 AM] Helena: This isn't predictable in my daily life I will tell ya that.. do they really think it's predictable?
[2:37:33 AM] Phil Varela: well this is just based on whats posted on the facebook page. with the vets falling and stuff
[2:38:06 AM] Phil Varela: because they're biased towards the vets because they know them
[2:38:10 AM] Phil Varela: so they're all rooting for them
[2:41:12 AM] Helena: Once this game is over we will be the vets... omg that's cray... too bad a vet won't win.. rookies are the best
[2:42:20 AM] Phil Varela: yessss. its fun being a rookie and being the underdog.
[2:42:35 AM] Phil Varela: well i guess we're not the underdogs right now.
[2:42:36 AM] Phil Varela: but you get it
[2:42:59 AM] Phil Varela: i think once the game is over we'll finally be recognized for our gameplay
[2:45:14 AM] Helena: If I ever played this again I'm not sure I would be any different... what do you think about yourself and they way you've played so far? If the game started over would you do anything differently?
[2:45:29 AM] Phil Varela: i was not very vocal in the beginning
[2:45:40 AM] Phil Varela: i felt wayyyy too over my head at the start
[2:45:50 AM] Phil Varela: because ive never done anything this intense with like skype calls and shit
[2:46:14 AM] Phil Varela: i think maybe i would have stated my opinion more
[2:47:29 AM] Phil Varela: remember how hard people came right out of the gates? boteti was super dramatic even before we had to do anything
[2:47:48 AM] Phil Varela: cuz a lot of these people knew eachother before this. i didnt know anyone
[2:49:20 AM] Helena: I felt so in over my head. Its not my usual environment. This is my first "org." I'm sure that's the right context... everyone was so dramatic. Mac n dj swooped me up and no one else did so of course they are like my game parenrs
[2:50:08 AM] Phil Varela: lol yeah same. thats the thing. like when someone wants to play with you and you know they are being chill with you that counts for a lot.
[2:50:20 AM] Phil Varela: ive definitely had to change my daily routine for this game though
lol.
[2:52:51 AM] Helena: Me too at first it was nice then I had my bday and them I got a job offer and now I'm preparing to move friday.. its hard to juggle all but im doing it
[2:53:39 AM] Helena: sorry
[2:53:43 AM] Helena: B
[2:54:41 AM] Helena: Im goin to bed. But I want to talk later. About nothing crucial. But to talk.
[2:55:25 AM] Phil Varela: yeah sure i have all day off tomorrow. i'll prob run into town to do some errands but i'll be around! and of course i wanna hear alla bout your bday and your job offer and your move. i'm also moving soon
[2:55:28 AM] Phil Varela: but ok ttyl!
[2:56:46 AM] Helena:
[2:56:58 AM] Helena: (*)
[2:57:05 AM] Helena: (^)
[2:57:34 AM] Helena: Goodnight phil. Sweet dreams, may you have them
[2:57:40 AM] Phil Varela: ditto
OK so basically my takeaway from this conversation is that Helena might vote for Ruben regardless of if the rest of us want to vote for Alex. At first I was freaking out because I thought that would just fuck my plan of getting Alex OUT. But now, I definitely need to make sure that Mac, DJ, and Ruben are FOR SURE FOR SURE FOR SURE wanting to vote out Alex. Alex is STILL trying to get Ruben out. So Ruben should be on board FOR SURE. I’m pretty sure that Mac and DJ want Alex out, and tbh they probably think It’ll be a slam dunk with Helena and Mandy voting with us. They might be getting a liiiiiiittle cocky because they don’t know yet that Helena is not wanting to vote for Alex. So I need to make sure that when they find out that Helena doesn’t wanna do it that they don’t freak out. BECAUSE MAC WILL FREAK OUT. And Mac will come on way too strong to Helena trying to be like “GIRL HE”S PLAYING YOU HES TRYING TO GET YOU OUT OMG GIRL HE NEEDS TO GO HE NEEDS TO GO HELENA *fake cries* HELENA GIRL YOU NEED TO VOTE OUT ALEX BANKS I’M TELLING YOU GIRL YOU NEED TO I’M SO SCARED” etc etc. So I need to talk to Mac first so that he DOESN’T freak out about this because I have a plan. Honestly, if Helena wants to vote for Ruben, we just need to LET HER VOTE FOR RUBEN. And we need to make sure that Ruben doesn’t freak out and just wants to vote for Banks, because Banks is the one that is trying to get people to vote for Ruben. So Me/Ruben/Mac/DJ all need to vote for Banks 1000%. We need to let Helena vote for Ruben. WHO CARES. We still have DJ’s idol, and we should probably just have him play it on Ruben. That’s also a strategy for me because I want DJ to play his idol, and tbh this is the perfect opportunity to do it, because once we do it, then we have majority. I’ve already agreed to Helena that we’ll vote out Ruben, which also fits in with my plan to keep Andii around for a future round smilesmile. Mandy will want to keep Andii around as well smilesmile. Mandy will want to get rid of Ruben anyway smilesmile. If I can get DJ to use his idol on Ruben now, then I don’t even have to worry about him wanting to use his idol on Ruben later smile smile. So, yeah. Honestly, I think the plan will work. DJ has been saying how he wants to use his idol for the sake of using it. But he also wants to put it to good use. And what better way to put it to good use than by idoling out Alex Banks? And honestly the way to make this plan fool proof fool proof fool proof is to just LET HELENA VOTE FOR RUBEN. Don’t even pressure her into voting for Banks. I…honestly don’t think that Helena will even think of the fact that DJ could play his idol on Ruben. And even if she thought of it, I don’t think she will care. Or at least I don’t think she will care enough to do anything about it. So there’s no way that the threat of an idol could possibly scare Banks enough to not target Ruben. Helena won’t vote for Me Mac or DJ. So if Me/Ruben/Mac/DJ vote for Banks and Helena votes for Ruben, it literally does not matter if Mandy is with us or how Andii/Banks vote. DJ must use his idol and we’re GOLDEN.
Anyway…yeah! Too long; didn’t read version: I have a plan you guys. And you should probably read the confessional. Even the conversation is worth it, probably. I’m actually doing something, and I think I have the confidence to make sure it happens.
Also, meanwhile:
[1:33:04 AM] Alex Banks: Hey
[1:33:14 AM] Alex Banks: Are you good at some point for me to go over last night?
[1:33:20 AM] Phil Varela: yeah
*litrullay two hours later*
*crickets*
Alex Banks strikes again.
*FURIOUS EMOJI*
*FURIOUS EMOJI*
*FURIOUS EMOJI*
*FURIOUS EMOJI*
*FURIOUS EMOJI*